Don’t Say No for People

 Don’t Say No for People

What I’m Learning About Invitations, Assumptions, and the Power of Asking

Something I’ve noticed more since becoming a mom is that the invitations come less often.

It’s not that people have forgotten us—it’s just that life shifts. Schedules get tighter. Assumptions get made. People see the season we’re in and think, “They probably can’t come. They’re busy with the kids.” And so, without meaning to, they leave us out.

But here’s what’s harder than saying no:
Not being given the chance to say yes.

Steve and I have talked about this a lot. And something we’ve both come to believe—whether it’s about social gatherings, ministry opportunities, or friendships—is this:

Don’t say no for people.

Let them decide. Let them discern their own yes or no. Because when we pre-decide for someone else, we don’t just protect them—we unintentionally exclude them.

Sometimes we find out about moments we would’ve loved to be part of… but we were never asked. And maybe it wasn’t intentional. Maybe it wasn’t personal. But it still stung.

So now, this is my new motto:
Don’t choose someone’s “no.”

Ask. Invite. Extend the opportunity. You never know what someone will say until you do—and sometimes, they’ll surprise you with a yes.

You never know what a simple invite might mean to someone. And even if they say no—it’s a no rooted in love, not assumption.

Let’s be people who ask. Who include. Who extend the kind of invitation God extends to us: open, gracious, and full of welcome.

Because the act of asking?
That’s where connection begins.