When Kindness Isn’t Received Well

 When Kindness Isn’t Received Well

And why we still choose to do good anyway

A few months ago, I was at an empanada pop-up, busy making food with my mom. As we were serving customers, I noticed a homeless man standing by another vendor, asking for food. Without hesitation, my mom and I agreed—we should offer him something.

She gently walked over and said, “Here is some food we would love for you to have.”

His response?

“Sorry, I don’t trust your food. I didn’t see you make it, and I don’t know what you put into it.”

My mom, trying to bridge the gap, kindly said, “Oh, I understand that. It might feel strange. But over there—that’s my daughter. She’s the one making the food. You’re welcome to walk over and watch her make you a fresh batch.”

Still, the man said, “Sorry. I don’t trust you. I don’t want your food.”

We were stunned. Not because we needed a thank you—but because the rejection felt so strong. It almost made you want to take the kindness back.

I shared the story with a vendor next to me, and his response was quick:
“That’s why I don’t give free stuff anymore. People are so ungrateful.”

And to be honest… I understood what he meant.

It’s easy to feel discouraged when your good intentions are met with skepticism or rejection. It’s human to feel hurt when your kindness is misunderstood or unappreciated.

But the very first verse that came to mind was:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
—Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

I think both perspectives are valid.

It’s okay to feel disappointed. It’s okay to set boundaries. And maybe the man had allergies, past trauma, or reasons we’ll never understand. But we can't let one person’s response become the reason we stop showing love.

We don’t give to be thanked.
We give because we’ve been shown grace.
We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

At the end of the day, our job isn’t to measure outcomes—it’s to remain obedient. To love as we’ve been loved. To serve even when it’s not received the way we hoped.

So keep showing up.
Keep offering the food.
Keep being light in a world that sometimes can’t receive it.

You never know who will say yes next time.