When It Didn’t Start With Sparks

When It Didn’t Start With Sparks

What I learned about love, surrender, and trusting the unexpected

I’ve shared Steve’s side of our story—the moment he knew I would be his wife before we’d even met. And when we didfinally meet, his conviction only grew stronger.

My experience? Very different.

When I met Steve, I wasn’t attracted to him at all. I thought he was kind, funny, and definitely someone I enjoyed spending time with—but romance? Nope. Not even close. He quickly became a great friend, and I was content to keep it that way.

But Steve was intentional. Gentle. Present. And wise about how he spent time with me.

We both lived in Long Beach and worked in Costa Mesa, so he offered to carpool. (And I love saving money, so of course I said yes!) Before I knew it, we were spending hours together almost daily… and I actually looked forward to it. I enjoyed our conversations, our banter, our rhythm. Still, I fought it. I told myself we were just friends.

Until one day, in the quiet of my heart, I sensed the Holy Spirit ask:
“Are you going to keep rejecting the people I send into your life?”

That question hit deep. I knew I had been holding on to a version of what love was supposed to look like. And I also knew that if I really wanted God’s best, I had to surrender my expectations.

So I did.

But this wasn’t some fairy tale moment where everything became easy. In fact, I shifted into discernment mode… I began asking Steve very specific questions. I wanted to know if he could be trusted with finances, with my heart, with a future family. I needed to know if this man was someone who walked in wisdom and integrity beyond the friend zone.

Steve noticed the shift in me, and a few months later, we officially began dating.
Not long after that, we were married.

Looking back, I’m so thankful I didn’t let my assumptions rob me of something God was trying to give me.

And maybe that’s a word for someone reading this:
Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. God may answer your prayers in a way that doesn’t look like what you imagined… but it will be good.